AUGUST 21, 2008 | posted 10.41PM
B L O G . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1st year in grad. school scares the holy crap outta me. Just had my first day of grad. orientation today and it went really well. Got to meet new faces and see the usual people. I feel like I'm jumping right into the pool of things. It's scary as hell but I think it'll be fun. Or at least I'll try to make it fun... 2 years doesn't seem like a lot once you've completed 4 years of undergraduate studies. I'm gonna make these 2 years the best of my college life! I may feel old afterwards but its the journey that counts, right? Tomorrow is the 2nd half of the orientation and I'm ready to get it over with. I'm slowly getting use to being back at school. I didn't do much all summer as you may have known. Been all work and no play... well play at work *haha* but no play at home. But life comes at you fast. Just gotta take it as it is and pray for the best I suppose.
I feel like we all deserve a little break from family problems, even for a day. Most of the people I speak with are having their usual family problems and dysfunctional arguments but it seems to be getting worse for some. Sadly I'm in that category. It made me mad to hear that one of my best friends even
thought that I had the perfect family. I wasn't mad that she thought I had the perfect family. I was mad because how could she even think for a second that "the PERFECT family" existed?! Guess since I don't speak to her about my family problems that it just made her think this way about my family. But come on, no one's perfect so no way a perfect family can exist. You may come pretty close to having a perfect family, but you can't and won't ever be a perfect family.
So yah I'm an emotional wreck. Sorta. I'm just going through some emotional path right now and it's killing me. Well, more like an emotional roller coaster. Not so bad that I need professional help. How do you deal when the one you have feelings for
possibly doesn't feel the same way about you? Notice, I said "possibly" because I'm not 100% sure that this other person is or isn't feeling the same way. Don't tell me that I should just go ahead and tell this special person how I feel and hope for the best. Nope... I'm new to these emotions and I'm too scared to even think about the chance of letting this other person know how I feel. I'm blushing just thinking about it taking place. So yah it's too weird to talk about. But know that I'm emotionally confused. If you got some advice/advices, let me know! So besides the nail-biting thought of grad school, plus the ever so popular family dramas, and mix all that with a whirlwind of chaotic emotions, life seems better than normal. So holla if ya wanna. I be waiting haha. Ok, that's all folks. C-ya soon!
U P D A T E S . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So it's official.
Frozen Dreams is now on open hiatus. So if you want to keep in contact, just email me or leave your thoughts in the message board. I won't promise to respond right away. So first and foremost, thanks so much Bao. You're awesome. Thanks for all you've done and have continued to do. I'll try to visit SL from time to time. Thanks to all my dear affiliates. Although we've only been acquainted for a short time I hope to return one day. And also thanks to the usual visitors. Your time is meaningful and I hope you know how much I appreciate your visits. Who knows, there might be a blog posted from time to time. So keep checking back. Be safe always. I wish you well. Much love, ~Choua
AUGUST 11, 2008 | posted 11.28AM
B L O G . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Whoa I almost forgot that I had a site. So as of August 9 at 3.05pm, I am no longer required to work another day of this summer. In case you've forgotten, I got a job at this one place and this was the first time I've ever worked a 12hr shift. It was quite difficult at first but I guess if you're flexible to change and are able to "Go with The Flow" then it shouldn't be too bad. So the endless hours were horrible at first. But now that I'm done with the job, I've been reflecting on what has occurred this past 2 months. I've come to meet some really generous beings. Some I wouldn't care to ever see again on the face of this Earth. But I've realized that there are more nicer people than I had expected or hoped to meet. I've come to appreciate the little moments. I've gain insight into people's thoughts and their opinions of how they see the world. I can truly say that I'm not the same person as I was before I met these people. I've learned new things and feel like a different person. I went through a lot of mixed emotions a week before my final day at work. I was feeling all happy/sad/angry/confused/hurt/loved....... to the point where I couldn't think straight. The main feeling of all has to be love. I once asked someone about their thoughts on love. This person's answer was simply and bluntly, "love doesn't exist." Their answer just broke my heart. I guess I was hoping too much for another answer. But after much thought I've decided that
LOVE is too vague to define. Who are we to decide what defines love or what love should mean. I guess we all just have our own definitions of what love is. So why am I rambling on about love? I guess you can say I'm going through a period in my life where I'm trying to sort out my feelings and emotions. When I say "love" I don't just mean it in a sense of girl and guy love. I'm also referring to family love... mutual friends love. So while I'm reflecting about work, I can say that I enjoyed my time there. There were moments I hated, but overall I was lucky to meet some awesome people and for that I'm grateful for.
Since I'm not working anymore, I have to find some activities to fill up my day. I still have about 2 weeks left to be lazy before school starts. But I can't think of anything to do. You see, I'm not the type who has a lot of friends to hang out with. I'm quite secluded. So if I'm going out, I'm going out alone. I can't plan anything with my family because I have such a dysfunctional family. I don't wanna go through the headaches of trying to plan things out with them so I'd rather be alone again. And being s-i-n-g-l-e sucks. I love my independence but it just seems to make the day so much worthwhile to have somebody there with you.... someone to laugh with, to make fun of, to cry with, to be silly with... just someone to let you know that they're there for you. I guess I got a glimpse of what it's like to be in love... that's why I'm so into the topic of "Love" right now lol. But it's better to let it out than in right?
U P D A T E S . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I've decided to put the site on a break. I'm still waiting to hear from Bao (my dear host) if she will be closing the site down or if it will remain open. I'll let you know more about it if I get the chance to come back online soon. If your rules go against any hiatus then please, by all means take me off your affiliates links or whatever. If you wanna keep in contact just email me - choua_v(at)yahoo.com. Thanks for the wonderful memories!
